No. 42 - Write a letter to yourself.

In my 50 Ways for a Mom to Connect with her Authentic Self, number 42 is all about getting in touch with your authentic self through writing letters.  Today, I wrote a letter to my younger-self.  (Shamelessly stolen from Ellyn Spragins at www.letterstomyyoungerself.com)

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Dear 29 Year-Old Kim,

I know this year is hard for you!  You never thought that a simple number - your age - could ever affect you so dramatically, but, alas, it has.  And, that is OK.

You expected so much for your 20's - an education, a career (both of which you have) - but mostly, you expected love.  And that love, that you haven't yet found, feels like a gigantic empty hole of loneliness.

Thirteen years later, as a wife and a mom (who craves time to herself) it would be easy for me to tell you to embrace your alone time and to enjoy your freedom - but I will not do that.  I know that you have experienced life and enjoyed the opportunities that you have had because your are single.  And, you will continue to do so. 

Me, on a road trip, during my single days.

I also know that your desire to become a wife and mom is so incredibly powerful and that right now, it feels so hopeless.  Hang in there.  

What I will tell you is that your current lack of love, is NOT because you are not worthy!  Please do not waste the time to question that!  I wish that you could clearly see how worthy you are.  But I now know, although you have a hard time fully believing this, you do know your worthy of love - deep down!  Otherwise, you would have already settled, married and had children.

But you didn't! - You have stayed true to your worthiness. 
Do your realize how remarkable that truly is?

However, what you do not believe, that only now I am beginning to embrace, is that you are amazing!  I wish you would acknowledge and celebrate what you have accomplished! 

Stop saying that all that you have done in your twenties (finished college and grad school, found a career that is fufilling, moved 745 miles away from home, plus so much more) is not a big deal.  It is a big deal! 

Stop believing that anyone could accomplish what you have!  Just because they could (and that is debatable), does not mean that they have...  And YOU have! 

These accomplishments will serve you throughout your life.  And, while right now you feel a large piece of your life - love, partnership, family - is missing, know that what you have done is incredibly valuable!

You will look back to now, and remember your twenty-ninth year as incredibly challenging.  Because when your entire being feels like your life's passion is missing - it is hard - grueling even.

But you are persisting and staying true to YOU! 

And I, the future you, thanks you!

I am in awe of you!

Love and hugs,

(the 42 year old version)

 

What would you say to your younger you?