Day 6 - A Big Fat Failure

Yep...you read that right.  Day 6 is all about a Big Fat Fail!  Let me explain...

As 2011 wound down, I knew that I wanted to start the new year focused and clear about my goals and aspirations for 2012.

But before I could do that, I knew that I needed to reflect.

And, even though I had many, many accomplishments during 2011, I was haunted by one goal that I had failed to accomplish.  One BIG FAT FAILURE!

A big fat failure that I attempted to conquer many, many, MANY times.  (I even wrote about and made commitments to making changes here, here, and here - and those are just the times I dared to share.)

So, when I began to think about my goals for 2012 - THAT goal - you know, the one that I have failed at in many BIG and FAT ways, crept into my thoughts.

I didn't want to think about it.
I didn't want to consider it.
I didn't want to even acknowledge it.

I was tired of trying - and failing.
I was tired of hearing myself whine about it.
I was tired of getting excited about the possibilities of reaching my goals and then not.

Regardless, it was there.  Haunting me. 

No matter how many times I pushed it out of my mind, it returned.  Haunting me.

So I acknowledged it.  I thought about it.  I considered it.

The fear of failure - another BIG FAT FAILURE - was overwhelming.  I didn't want to fail at the same thing AGAIN.  Therefore, I didn't want to even try.

This was my internal battle for a long time.

Then, one day, I asked myself, "What is the alternative?"

"To NOT try." a voice said.

"To NOT try to achieve a dream?" I wondered.  "Is that truly an alternative?"

And a loud voice replied, "NOPE!  Nope, it is not!"

In the wise words of Theodore Roosevelt...

"It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed."

So, the goal, to be healthier (lose weight and be in good shape) is back on the list. 

I will try (again) to succeed...

and, I am hopeful.

What dream do you have that you have failed to acheive?

Are you still trying?

Day 5: Wii got with the times!

Santa was good to us on December 25, 2011.
Under our tree, sat a Wii. 

A Wii that the boys know how to use, because all their friends have one.

A Wii that our boys are teaching us how to use, because "Mom, even Grandma and Poppy have one!"

A Wii that now has at least 30 Mii people loaded onto the Mii channel, because our boys insisted on creating Mii characters for EVERYONE they know.


A Wii that teaches them how to box - a sport that I just do not understand.

A Wii to learn the important nuances of curling - another sport that I don't get.

A Wii that they love...and fight over.


A Wii that has Wii Fit...which made my Mii character a wee-bit (Wii-bit?) wider than I would prefer.

A Wii that told me that I am dreadfully "unbalanced" (time and time again) when I attempted to hit soccer balls off my head.

A Wii that not only threw soccer balls at my head, but cleats and fat pandas, that I seemed to be able to "head" really well.

A Wii that, I am pretty sure, is responsible for this morning's pathetic hobble to the bathroom - damn those sore calves that the Wii made me use.

A Wii that, really, I love.

Seriously, how could I not, when Wii deemed me a "Zumba Legend" this morning?!!!?


Yep, Santa was good to us...and finally, Wii got with the times.

Next year, maybe Santa could put a flat screen TV under our tree!

Day 4: Hump Day Happy: Childhood Memories

Today I am introducing:

At ISOMIM, Wednesday is all about HAPPINESS!  Each week I will list ten happy thoughts about a chosen topic.

Today's Hump Day Happy is all about Childhood Memories!

Some of the childhood memories that bring a smile to my face are...

1)  Summer nights of playing Kick-the-Can with my neighborhood friends.

2)  Winter days spent building snow forts and having snowball fights.

3)  My mom reading the entire Little House on the Prairie series to me and my brothers and sister.

4)  Playing Ladder Tag at my neighbor's pool, all summer long.

5)  My brothers and sister shooting rubber bands at my diapers and chasing me around the house.

6)  Playing Clue.

7)  Camp Fitch!...winning an archery award, celebrating my birthday with the "order of the oar", jumping on the trampoline, sailing, sleeping under the stars, canoeing, camp fires with crazy songs...

8)  The woods next to my grandma's house and running through the well-worn paths.

9)  Spending many summer days exploring the path of a local creek with friends...wading through knee deep-water, tentatively making our way through tunnels, finding frogs and tadpoles, hopping from rock to rock, and coming home soppin' wet and muddy.

10) Getting my very own library card after learning to spell my first and last names.

What childhood memories make you happy?

Day 3 - "I Am"

Sunday morning, I checked facebook and the first item that grabbed my attention was a facebook post from the OWN network about a documentary called "I Am".  The title caught my eye.  The facebook blurb said:

"Good morning! Hope you had a great New Year's Eve. If you missed any of the thought-provoking film "I Am" don't worry. There's an encore presentation of it on Super Soul Sunday at 12 pm ET/PT. You can also purchase the DVD of the film on Jan. 3rd!"

Without a thought and without learning anymore, I did something that I almost never do - I set the DVR to record it.

Something told me that I simply needed to see it.

I didn't give it another thought until later that night, after the boys went to bed, Jeff was flipping the channels and I suggested watching that "Oprah thing".  He, surprisingly, agreed.

"I Am" was AMAZING! And I want to share with you a few big TAKEAWAYs that I got from this documentary.

First...Here's the brief synopsis:

Tom Shadyac, a successful Hollywood Movie Director, had a life threatening bike accident and after recovering, he decided to film his quest to find the answer to the following questions:

What's wrong with our world?

and (more importantly)

What can we do about it?

He interviewed "remarkable men and women from the worlds of science, philosophy, and faith."  People like Desmond Tutu and Howard Zinn.


Takeaway # 1:  We are ALL connected.  Science say so... 
We are connected not just by talking to each other, or by knowing each other, or by having share interests, or even because of Kevin Bacon.  But because we are on this earth. Because our DNA is wired to be connected.

Did you know that computer programs are set up all over the world to continually generate random numbers and studies have shown, time and time again, that the numbers generated during significant events (9/11, Tsunamis, the Royal Wedding, etc.) are no longer random? <Que the Twilight music> 

I believe that we (humans, you and me) affect the world in ways we are only beginning to understand.

Takeaway #2:  If we are all connected as is described in "I Am", then what I do, and how I act, makes a difference...
Imagine if we all consciously made a choice to be a little nicer, a little kinder, a little more forgiving, and perhaps even a little less judgemental.  The world would change...if only a little.

But, as I have heard time and time again, I can NOT change for you or anyone else. 

Or can I?

What if I changed my behavior?  What if I treated you nicer, and kinder.  What if I was forgiving and less judgemental of you.  And what if I kept treating you that way.  Might you "feel that energy" and maybe, if only a little, treat others similarly.

I believe that you would.

Takeaway #3:  If how I act and what I do makes a difference, then it is my responsibility to be the best me and to live my best life.
If I am impacting the world, then I want to give it my best.  Offer my skills, my gifts, and my God-given talents to whomever is interested.  Share my strengths, and be honest about my vulnerabilities to whomever will receive. And hopefully impact the world positively. 

And the only way to do that is to know myself and love myself.

I believe that I should continually strive to live authentically.  And I hope that you do too.

Takeaway #4:  I will never know the impact that I have made.  And that's OK.
It is a gift to be told "Thank You."  It is gift to hear that you have inspired someone.  It is a gift to know that you made a difference in someones life.

But, it is not the goal.

It is the reward.  A reward that I may never receive (whether I do not receive it because no one gives, or, more often, because I do not allow myself to receive)

I believe that the goal of life is to simply (but seems so hard) be me and share myself with others... And let the chips fall where they may.

In case you haven't guessed, this documentary was POWERFUL for me!

Here is the trailer so you can learn more!



Happy Tuesday!

Day 2 - Detox

This month's mini-theme is detox...As in no alcohol <gasp...No wine?!!?> for 30 days in January.  (Yes, I do know that January has 31 days.  I am allowing myself one day to imbibe.)

Let me explain why I decided on this mini-theme.

I love wine.

I love the bliss of wine after a long day.

I love the bliss of wine to celebrate a good day.

I love wine with a good dinner out.

Did I mention?...I love wine.

Each night, the boys head to bed, and I head to get my glass of wine - or two, or....


Wine has become the wind-down ritual of most days.

I have wondered about this ritual...

It is really a good idea?

How does it effect my "I am not a morning person" mornings?

Do I love wine too much?

Should I stop drinking?

And, I don't have complete answers to those questions...so I decided to investigate it further.

So last night, the Detox began. 

I have to admit...I wanted to grab a glass...
so I did...

a glass of Hot Chocolate.

And, my husband and I watched a phenomenal documentary (more about that tomorrow) and day one of my wine-detox was a success!

What could you give up for thirty days?

I double dog dare you :)

Day 1 - My year long promise to myself

Happy New Year!

In the past few weeks, thanks to Debbie Phillips and Women on Fire and Coach Joelle, I have...

• reviewed, celebrated and reflected upon 2011 - It was a year filled with so much...many successes and a few disappointments that haunt me.
• created big goals - To become healthier, to share my gifts, and make good use of my time.
• made manageable action steps to achieve those goals - To be fast food free in 2012 and to increase my income, for example, and
• set a theme for 2012 - The year of Valuing Self: my Body, my Gifts, my Time.

Inspired by Jamie Eslinger's The Promise 365 I am starting my own year-long promise to myself. 

I promise to spend my year treating my Body, my Gifts, and my Time as valuable and precious.

To support this, during this year I will:

• Be fast food free.
• Read at least one book a month and incorporate something that I learned from each book into my life.
• Monetize some of my gifts and talents so that I am joyfully and financially adding income for my family.
• Purposely scheduling my time, so that I am accomplishing my goals, spending quality time with my boys, and nurturing my relationship with my husband.
• Set a mini-theme each month (that supports my bigger theme) to explore topic to greater depths.
• And write about and reflect upon my experiences.

I am sure that as the year plays out, what I do to support this promise will evolve and grow.  I am sure that there will be times that I will want to throw in the towel and say F-it.  I am sure that I will have moments of amazing success.  And I am sure that I will also experience disappointments and feelings of failure.

But what I promise, is that regardless, I will persist...

all 366 days (damn, why did I choose a leap year?!!) !

Wish me luck - or better yet, join me with your own promise to yourself!

p.s.  Thankfully, I am not going at this alone.  I have joined Jamie Eslinger's You Can Do Anything Coaching Group for support.  There is still time to join me - her coaching group starts on January 16!

p.s.s. I should let you know, that I am only telling you about Jamie, because, after seeing what Jamie did during her year-long promise, I think her coaching group it is going to be amazing!...I am not getting paid, or getting any type of kick-back for sharing her information with you.

A Special Gift for You!

'Tis the Season of Giving!  And I am so excited to share with you a recording of my interview with the amazing Rosemary Nickel of Motivating Other Moms where we discussed...

The 5 Lessons I Learned

from my

In Search of Me in Mommy

one-year purposeful journey! 

During this interview, Rosemary and I talk about life-changing lessons that I learned during 2010 when I took a year to rediscover myself after five years of being consumed by motherhood.  It is my hope that you listen to my story and learn at least one item that will help YOU through the joy and chaos of motherhood.

I would love to hear what you learned from the interview, so be sure share in the comment below or post your thoughts on the In Search of Me in Mommy Facebook page!

I hope that you enjoy this gift!

But before you scroll down to click and listen...there is another gift that I want to share with you...

As you may, or may not know, in January, I am offering, for the first time ever, my 6-week In Search of Me in Mommy Class.  And because I know that we, as moms, are often last on our lists, I want to encourage you to put yourself on the top of the list and do something for yourself. 

There are many ways to do just that...have a spa day, take a bath, go for a run, head to a local coffee shop and sit and read, take a class to learn something new...who knows, maybe you even want to take the In Search of Me in Mommy Class. 

And, if taking the In Search of Me in Mommy Class is something you want to do for YOU **what a GREAT idea :)**...and you sign up by December 31, 2011 at 11:59pm EST and get a 20% discount!  To get the discount use the coupon code "GIFT".

For more information about the class, click here.

Happy Holidays from me to you!

So, without further delay...here is the interview for your listening pleasure...

The interview is approximately 30 minutes of goodness, so grab your favorite beverage, find a comfy chair and get ready for...

The 5 Lessons I Learned from my

In Search of Me in Mommy one-year purposeful journey!

An ISOMIM Interview

Truly, I hope that you enjoy this holiday season and are surrounded with love and kindness!

Thank you for being a part of In Search of Me in Mommy!