Friday, January 6, 2012

Day 6 - A Big Fat Failure read that right.  Day 6 is all about a Big Fat Fail!  Let me explain...

As 2011 wound down, I knew that I wanted to start the new year focused and clear about my goals and aspirations for 2012.

But before I could do that, I knew that I needed to reflect.

And, even though I had many, many accomplishments during 2011, I was haunted by one goal that I had failed to accomplish.  One BIG FAT FAILURE!

A big fat failure that I attempted to conquer many, many, MANY times.  (I even wrote about and made commitments to making changes here, here, and here - and those are just the times I dared to share.)

So, when I began to think about my goals for 2012 - THAT goal - you know, the one that I have failed at in many BIG and FAT ways, crept into my thoughts.

I didn't want to think about it.
I didn't want to consider it.
I didn't want to even acknowledge it.

I was tired of trying - and failing.
I was tired of hearing myself whine about it.
I was tired of getting excited about the possibilities of reaching my goals and then not.

Regardless, it was there.  Haunting me. 

No matter how many times I pushed it out of my mind, it returned.  Haunting me.

So I acknowledged it.  I thought about it.  I considered it.

The fear of failure - another BIG FAT FAILURE - was overwhelming.  I didn't want to fail at the same thing AGAIN.  Therefore, I didn't want to even try.

This was my internal battle for a long time.

Then, one day, I asked myself, "What is the alternative?"

"To NOT try." a voice said.

"To NOT try to achieve a dream?" I wondered.  "Is that truly an alternative?"

And a loud voice replied, "NOPE!  Nope, it is not!"

In the wise words of Theodore Roosevelt...
"It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed."

So, the goal, to be healthier (lose weight and be in good shape) is back on the list. 

I will try (again) to succeed...

and, I am hopeful.

What dream do you have that you have failed to acheive?
Are you still trying?

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