Day 78 - Gently lean into it.

I am tired of the conversation I am having with myself.  I am tired of my whining, moaning and groaning that is going on inside my brain.

So, I know that it is time to make a change.

I've been here before.  Many times.  And, unfortunately, it feels kind of hopeless.  That, is never a good feeling.  And typically at this point, I do one of two things - either I give up (before I even start) and do nothing, or I try to tackle it head on and make a plan, filled with strict rules, crazy guidelines, and unrealistic expectations.  Neither works.  Both leave me feeling defeated and unsuccessful.

So, I know I need to first change my mindset, thoughts, and beliefs about this issue.  Because, these negative feelings I have right now is a guarantee of failure.

I am not sure I know how to change my mindset, thoughts and beliefs about this topic...it feels so ingrained into who I am.

But, I have done it before, for other issues.  And, once I wrap my brain (and heart) around a new way of living and thinking and being - it feels easier.

So I know I can do this!    ...Right?

Truth be told, right now, I am not sure.  I am feeling vulnerable and insecure and, well, scared.  But I think that instead of giving up, or tackling head on, I need to gently lean into it. 

Yep, maybe I need to lean into and feel my vulnerabilities, insecurities, and fears.

Wish me luck.