Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Day 59 - becoming a mom...

Do you remember the moment that you felt - really felt - like a mom? 

I know that moment is different for everyone - and occurs at different points and times.  For some it may be when the when the baby's heartbeat is first heard.  For others it may be in a sleep-deprived moment in the middle of the night while feeding their newborn.  And for still others it might be when the adoption papers are finally signed.  No story is identical. 

For me, the moment occurred after two inductions four days apart, and four hours of pushing.  Finally, in a room full of nurses, doctors, along with my sister and husband my moment happened and in that moment, I was scared, relieved, overwhelmed, exhausted, and confused.  In the moments following, my son Alex, whose umbilical cord had been wrapped around his neck and was a grayish-blue color, was rushed over to the respiratory team for oxygen and special care.  I kept asking if he was ok, since I didn’t the big “I’ve-just been-born-cry that I had expected.  Instead I only heard Alex’s tiny, pathetic whimper.  I was reassured that he was “just tired” and doing fine.  In my gut, I knew that everything was going to be ok, and bravely, I decided to listen to my gut, dismiss my fears and what-ifs and believe.  And, in that moment, I became a mom.

A scared, overwhelmed, exhausted...yet joyful mom.

When did you first feel like a mom?

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